29 Years of Marriage And Counting

I have watched the television show 19 Kids and Counting from time to time. I have been married for 29 years and blessed with twins daughters who just turned 25 this past September. I am grateful to have experienced pregnancy once and to have been blessed with twins but I wouldn't want to go through it 19 and now 20 times like Michelle Duggar.
My husband and I just celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary on October 10th. I think back to the day that we got married. I remember that it was raining but some say getting married on a rainy day is cleansing, unifying and fertility-boosting whereas another theory is it represents the crying you will do during your marriage. There have been some tears during my marriage but I have had tears because of other events in my life which had nothing to do with the marriage. It is all in how you look at life which myth you want to believe.
I will be the first to say that there have been many ups and downs. I went through a mental breakdown of sorts about eight years ago. I moved to an appartment with our twin daughters. My husband was very upset at this decision. I couldn't stand physical contact at the time but eventually I came around. He never gave up on us and would come over to the appartment and take the girls and I out for supper. We now we refer to it as our little adventure. During that time my father passed away and six months later I inherited some family money and bought the condo beside the one he and I owned.
My husband owned six Dominos Pizza stores with a partner. He has Parkinson's disease which made his patner and an investor nervous. They bought him out as they felt he was a detriment to the company. It was a very difficult time for him but he still wanted to do something with his life. We heard of another store in a nearby area that was for sale. I thought that he should buy it which he did. This is where we really learned to work together as a team. I owned another business but would get involved on a Friday evening and over the weekend. We had a lot of staffing issues so there were some Friday evenings where I would take orders and he would make the pizzas. We had one driver working with us. It was a very long day for me but I got to enjoy the stop at the local truck stop at 4-5 am for breakfast before heading home to bed.
The store was a turnaround and we ran out of money before we could get it turned around into a profitable venture. It was a very sad day when we decided that we could no longer keep it open. We had an offer to purchase but I didn't want to sell as I had invested money from my family inheritance into the business. I should have allowed my husband to accept the offer because three months later I lost it all and then some. If only I had listened I could have saved some of my inheritance money. We now owe our in-laws money because they lent us money to keep going.
I am blessed to have such supportive in-laws. They have been there for us through difficult times. Next year they will be celebrating 60 years of marriage. It is a great milestone. My father-in-law is a retired minister. He worked in churches and my mother-in-law would play the piano supplying music during the service. She also helped him create the bulletin for each service. They did this together for many years working as a team. My father-in-law would do a lot of visting seniors in nursing homes and sometimes my mother-in-law would join him on these visits. I have always been amazed at how he could be standing at an elevator in a public building and start talking to someone. On one occasion many years ago we were in the local hospital visiting his younger brother who was there as a patient with cancer. When we left he started talking to this person at the elevator. My father-inlaw had worked in this hospital many years earlier before I knew him as an orderly. As we were heading to his vehicle I asked him if he knew the person from his days as an orderly at the hospital. He said no he had just met the person at the elevator. I said to him that I thought he knew the person because they had a great conversation going. I was surprised when he said that he wasn't always able to talk to strangers with ease. He is a master at putting people at ease.
My husband's daily struggle with Parkinson's has taught us how to work together. He is teaching me to wait for his signal to assist him in getting in and out of bed and chairs. I sometimes start pulling him before he is ready which puts a strain on my body. I am learning to wait until he tells me what he needs me to do. Our daughters are very good at knowing when he is overdue on his medication. They are very patient when it comes to waiting until he is ready to venture out of the house. There are times when leaving the house just doesn't work as his body is unco-operative.
It is sometimes hard to believe that we are in our fifties and dealing with an illness that make it seem like we are in our eighties. There are times where both of us feel sorry for our situation but a good nights sleep helps us realize that there are couples struggling with more challenges than us. Some men come back from serving their country with the lose of a limb. They have a long road of rehabilitation ahead of them. Our journey has been a slow progression of loss of movement over fourteen now into our fifteenth year. The walker is my husband's best assistant. He has even started trying out a wheelchair to give him more mobility.
So to all of those married couples I salute you for staying together when the going gets tough. I spent some of our married life threatening to walk-out when I didn't like how things were going. I have finally begun to realize that leaving is not going to solve anything but staying helps me grow into the person I am to become. MarriageQuote Snapshot_20121127_7 (2) Robert and Bethany Jobb
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